I have nothing against the hook-up culture. I advocate for no-strings-attached se_x, friends with benefits and one-night-stands. The thing that gets on my nerves is people who are not upfront.
Look, it is 2018. There are many women are down with casual se_x. You don’t have to lie about needing something serious for you to get into her pants. Heck, I know quite a few women who only date casually.
Times have changed. Just be honest and if she’s not up for it, you move on to the next one. Ladies, while these cowards never come out and say they just want to hit it and quit, there are those tell-tale lines all over to show that is exactly what they want. Here are a few:
“We should take things slow”
If a man has no qualms about jumping your bones right away but thinks you are moving too fast when you ask to be taken out for a real date, he is just interested in se_x. He thinks doing anything together, other than se_x, is ‘heavy’ relationship stuff that he is not ready for.
‘Taking things slow’ used to mean not getting physical until you know each other well but nowadays it is the opposite. For your information, trying to hit it raw on the first date is moving too fast. Asking to be taken out in public is not.
“Let’s not complicate things by putting a label on it.”
If you have been seeing (read sleeping) with a man for a while and he insists on not labelling the relationship, it goes without saying that he wants to keep his options open. Labelling the relationship implies exclusivity and commitment and he is just looking for easy, regular se_x until something better comes along. Not labelling the relationship gives him an avenue to sleep around without feeling guilty.
“I’m not looking for something serious.”
This one is tricky because it sounds like he is being honest about his intentions but it is a trap. Let me explain. You meet a guy. He expresses interest in you but tells that he is not looking for something serious. Here is the thing; you just met this guy so you obviously can’t tell him that you want a committed relationship immediately.
That will sound crazy. So you go along with his bit. What you don’t know is that you have unknowingly vindicated him of all future crappy behaviour.
Nine months later when he still only sees you when it is convenient for him i.e. when he is horny, he will remind you that he told you he wasn’t looking for anything serious.
“I am not sure of what I want right now”
This is a classic line to string a woman along. It means he wants to keep you around and continue having se_x with you but without the commitment.
He should not be sleeping with you if he isn’t sure if he wants to date you. It is either he wants to date you or he doesn’t, simple. If he says he doesn’t know what he wants, stop sleeping with him until he makes up his mind.